Future Mythologies

A Textual Journey with Maxwell Von Bismarck

Sunday, December 14, 2003

Well, I have a job, so the unemployment related depression is over. I get my first check, and 25.1% is withheld in taxes. Seriously, does anyone think that it could have been more if the Democrats were in charge?

Monday, December 08, 2003

I'm really pissed off. I realized that my favorite line from Original Pirate Material doesn't actually exist. On "Same Old Thing" I had thought Mike Skinner sang:

"Buy a drink, chat to a lady, the girls well fit definiteley, not maybe, she's rude I'd shag
her and matey right there"

but now I see lyrics printed as:

"she's rude, I'd shag her and make tea right there"

That's really not as good. It doesn't have nearly the same bombast as the line I heard, which was maybe the line that made me really love the album in the first place. What does that even mean? Shag her and make tea? I don't fucking care what you want to drink after sex. If anyone out there knows for sure which line is the real one, please tell me. It practically ruined my day to find out that he doesn't want to shag both the rude girl and her friend, and now I can't listen to the album without feeling a little disgusted and a little sad. Please help. How do you get over something like this? Is it okay to pretend the song has the (probably) fake lyrics that I heard? Can lying to yourself make you happier? I don't know about this. It's happened before, but not this seriously, and I usually end up liking the real line better in the end. But "matey" is just better than "make tea". I can't believe this.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

I don't hate lists. They can be fun. But they've gotten completely out of control. I guess it's that much easier to read a list than an article, and it's that much easier to write one. There's really no excuse for Rolling Stone's 500 Albums list, though. Especially when it doesn't contain one of my two favorite albums. It fails at both content and deliverance. And who really cares about the 487th best album of all time, whatever it is?

To stick up for lists, though. A lot of times I've gone through phases where music doesn't interest me. When this happens, I find a list of albums and listen to them all in order. In the past I've used Mojo lists and such, though I've outgrown Mojo for the most part. Generally when I do this I will find several albums which totally thrill me, generally ones I didn't think would.

One reason is that I like organized systems, but the main thing is that you hear music differently when you select it and when you don't. When you select a piece of music to hear, you are assuming things about the piece of music. You put it on because you want to feel a certain way, and you believe that this music will help you feel that way. When the music is chosen for you, though, you have no assumptions, and the music is free to hit you however it wants to. I read articles all the time about people not liking music until they find themselves listening to it for some strange reason one day and realizing it's fucking great. Public Image Limited's Metal Box is the one I'm thinking about, but it happens with others. So lists can be great. But seriously, cut the list crap.


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